Sunday, February 10, 2013

1 - Olivia Wilde
They used to call her Cockburn so it's not a huge surprise that you get this overwhelming sense of soothing filling your, uh, personage, when you look at Olivia Wilde. This woman photographs so well that it's positively inhuman. In water, she becomes the siren of the seas.

2 - Kelly Brook
When Kelly Brook is in a bikini, most of us going to wild bursts of cheering and applause. Seeing her floating in her little aqua oasis causes me to stop, stare and drink in her image like, well, water.

3 - Cara Delveingne
Cara Delveingne is a British model with a family who did cool stuff (her grandfather, Sir Jocelyn Stevens, formed the infamous '60's pirate radio station, Radio Caroline) and can look a bit tousled when she's not all made up Magazine Photoshoot For the camera. She's also a funny, cheeky lass who admits that her most surreal experience in life was when 9-year olds started sending her death threats through Twitter when the model began dating some boy band dude from something called One Direction. I kinda like her, the more I read about her. I kinda totally love her nude and in water.

4 - Jessica Biel
Listen, haters. I'm not an out-and-out Jessica Biel fan (I find some of her personal life choices a tad weird and her acting is only okie-dokie in my book) but I think she's gorgeous with probably one of the top ten best bodies in Hollywood. Stop with the "mannish" comments. It starts to sound like the people who try and tell me that "Girls" sucks because they think Lena is ugly. *palm*forehead*

5 - Amber Heard
She's been seen in several different situations where she was water-logged, but there's something about this particular image that I love the most. Amber Heard one of the most unfairly labeled "lesbian actress" women in the acting world (so she's gay, so what?) who just can't seem to get a solid foothold in something huge and yet is one of the most provocative actresses that I love to watch. Do yourself a favor, watch EVERYTHING she's been in and tell me that she hasn't floated to the surface, no matter what the tripe was.

 6 - Jamie Chung
She got her start as a member of MTV's "The Real World," so it's not as if I should find Jamie Chung a water babe but gosh darn it, Chung is just so freakin' cute, it's hard to bear. As she slowly works her way through more acting roles, I find myself forgetting she ever had anything to do with the disease infested hot tubs of yore.

7 - Alicia Keys
When you're a girl on fire, you've got to make sure you know how to cool yourself down. Alicia Keys looks like a natural in water, as much as she smolders when she's on stage performing. I even got a Citi card in order to see if it would lead to my meeting her like the guy in the commercial but alas... the media still fibs to us.

8 - Kate Upton
Kate Upton wears a lot of bikinis, seeing as how it's pretty much her job. So I found it interesting that the majority of the time she's in them, they don't picture her anywhere near water. That creepy photographer with the glasses who grosses me out got the wet t-shirt pictures of her, but it's this ebbing tide image that I prefer.

9 - Christina Aguilera
During the Xtina days, Aguilera was constantly looking like a streetwalker on a mission. I liked that incarnation of her. This was the time that she made awkward peace with Eminem when MTV thought they'd be clever and have her announce a VMA category that they knew he'd win in. Frankly, out of all the stars who change their image on such a revolving basis (emulating Madonna), it's Christina who does it best.

10 - Shakira
This tiny powerhouse of a rump-shaker is now currently knocked up and it makes me all kinds of sad. Granted, she's getting up their in years so it was boiling down to a Gwen Stefani, use-it-or-lose-it natural conception, so I can't fault Shakira Magazine Photoshoot For jumping on the mommy train. This tenth place is to pay homage to the sexy singer, as I'm sure she'll be back in fighting form 3 weeks after popping the kid out.

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